the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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