with your own penis?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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