Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
