So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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