After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
