i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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