At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
