Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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