he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
