We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
