oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
