i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I looked at my own cervix.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
