Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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