You're so nebulous sometimes
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
