Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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