I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
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Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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