So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
