A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
