Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
