A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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