its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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