Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
