We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
