I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
