Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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