All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Buhtt sex?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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