He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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