I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
