i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
dude. I can hear the air.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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