Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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