i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
