My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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