I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
