i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
