At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
