my room smells like sperm. sweet.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
