She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
