Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
