I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
