Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
