Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
this beer tastes like vomit already
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
