Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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