i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
