so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
