community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
