i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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