wanna go halves on a baby?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
