Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
