She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
