Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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