Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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