Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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