never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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