we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
