I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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