Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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