You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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