just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
