Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
