This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
