if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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